nu nii ei tule enam

tahaks öelda aga ei tea mida

ei tea kuidas

kas üldse

kas siis selle maa keel?

oh jah see vist oli juba

laulaks siis proteiinilaulu

see on parem kui rasvalaul või süsivesikute laul

vitamiinilaulust rääkimata

kord me liigutatud saame

kord me liigutatuks jääme

kord otsa saab kord

ma hajume taas proteiiniks ja huumuseks

ilma nimeta mänguks

ilma võimeta nime panna

kord läheb teele ja tagasi ei tule

aja hajumise tagumises otsas ootab meid ees kohustuslik kamikazemisjoon

rammida olematust omaenda kehaga

külma ja võõrandumust

isikliku ihuga

seni veel jõuab armastada tahta loota ja igatseda

küünarnukkidega annab ka endale küünra võrra vabadust hankida

või misasi see ikka on

mingi isiklik koherentsus väikene vastavus

nagu omakootud käpik

päikesekiir sees

üksainus neile kahele ühekäelisele mehele kes on lõkke ääres

kordamööda kanda

fantoomvalude leevenduseks


annab armastada


isikliku ihuga

pateetikat on vähe vahel

kas midagi jääb ehk veel üle või puudu

ma ei tea

nendest vahtraninadest mis must mutimullahunnikutes võrsuvad enne kui tuleb neilegi oma luider rohumees järele

ah et isiksuse kordumatus läheb vahepeal kaduma

isikliku iha ruum

eneseteadvus häädus kurjus eetika 

paha lugu siis küll

äng tuleb kohe südamesse

kas tuleb veel kohustuslikke harjutusi

vigade tegemisi või parandusi

kohustuslikke rivistusi

joondu valvel


või on täitsa paras

mina ei tea aga lootust mul on

ergastatud epitaafide järele

olen mõnda vahel kinni jäänud

olen vahel mõnest lahti öelnud

miks – ma pole öelnud

hoian ikka endale hoian ikka endale

minu ülesanne – see on kaasa tunda

see on suur missioon suur misjonikäsk suur misjonihirm suur misjoniarm

minna kõike maailma

ja hajuda ja hajutada

kõrvad katta siis kui õues undab

ei termilisele terrorile

jah dünaamilisele dünamiidile

lennata külmusesse



ikka veel annab armastada

omaenda ihuga

annab tunda



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